Twist & Shout

I like a good contortionist act as much as the next guy – maybe even better – but more and more I’m noticing people twisting themselves into knots trying to rename simple things or use different words in lieu of perfectly pleasant and acceptable ones. They do this in pursuit of I’m really not sure what.  A press release I read recently about a new hotel referred to its four “dining offerings,” which it turns out means the joint had four restaurants. “Darling, where should we eat tonight?” “Oh, I don’t know, honeybunch, you choose a dining offering, maybe sushi?” On a related note, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has been known to refer to hunger as “food insecurity,” which to me sounds as if people are afraid their soufflé is going to fall or embarrassed to be shopping at their local Safeway or Jewel instead of Whole Foods. (Consequently, if you’re not hungry - you've just downed a half-pound of that really good yellow curry chicken salad from Whole Foods, say - according to the USDA, you’re “food secure.”) In our profession we may be especially prone to this sort of gobbledygook because we want to be creative; we want to appear smart; we want to seem like we’re with it; we want to come off serious. In the end, what we sound is silly. So avoid referring to plans as pathways to growth or departments as service lines or HR departments as talent management centers or skills as value-added differentiators or programs as strategic-growth platforms or deals as definitive agreements. A release about a major merger recently referred to the fact that 6,000  people were going to be out of a job as enrollment reductions.  If you really want to be creative, appear smart, seem like you’re with it, come off serious, and, I might add, be honest, concentrate on clarity and preciseness in your writing. Say it like it is. Give it to me straight. Don't beat around the bush. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication,” Leonardo da Vinci supposedly said (though he probably said it in Italian), and he knew. He was one of the most complex men to ever live.

Note: If you know of, have read, or have used other gobbledygook like this, send it to me. I'll include it next week.

Comments

[Lisa Braithwaite]

One that I hear on cooking shows all the time is "bake off," as in, "Pour the batter into the pan and bake it off."

Then I started hearing it on craft shows, "We painted off this chair in a sage green."

I don't know who started this trend, but I wish it would "die off."

[Cindy Dashnaw]

Seth Godin recently suggested changing the name of HR to Talent as a subtle reminder to companies that employees are valuable. Generally, though, I agree with what you’re saying. I see the phrase “the continuum of care” in much health care writing, but I doubt the average person understands it in the same way each writer does.

[Tina]

Great post. Thanks.

You should try listening to a quarterly earnings webcast some time. The spin is heavy enough for a good case of whiplash.

[Veronica]

This post reminds me of something my grandmother used to say all the time:

"Speak, not so that you may be understood, but so that you cannot be misunderstood."

My boss liked the quote so much that it has become an unofficial motto at our PR firm. As professional communicators, it is our responsibility to ensure our clients' messages "cannot be misunderstood." So, the more icky mumbo jumbo we can eliminate from our communications, the better off our clients will be.