Thanks But No thanks

Of all the workshops I teach in my company’s in-house university, my e-mail class is most popular (despite the fact that one colleague fell asleep during it – you know who you are). The seriousness with which people view the class has never failed to impress me. Whether or not it’s due to the existential angst that accompanies the constant potential for embarrassing blunders or worse when hitting “send,” e-mail is a topic that’s more top of mind (as we say in the biz) than I would have thought. Yet one issue causes more discussion during class than any other, and that’s whether to send e-mails that merely say “thanks.” Such e-mails are increasingly reflexive but not necessarily reflective of anything special. I fall on the side of colleagues who say that sending “thanks” e-mails when only the merest wisp of effort has been exerted seems silly and time-wasting, not only to write but to open and read. (I’m slightly paralyzed by them, too, since I sometimes feel the need to thank the person for thanking me and then we get into a thank you war that, as Joni Mitchell sang about the seasons, go round and round and round in the circle game.) I’m not against thank yous always (I'm a big booster of civility in the workplace). But when all a person is doing is answering a question or sending you a document, the incessant thank you-ing diminishes the impact of the sentiment, rendering it less special, more “yeah, whatever.” And “thanks in advance” -- or pre-thank yous -- are even stranger considering the person hasn’t done anything yet. And anyhow, what, really (think about it), does "thanks in advance" even mean? Class discussion usually ends in a draw, with hard-core thank you-ers determined to thank their way through their days while the rest of us come off curmudgeonly and curt. But days and even weeks later I’ve been told by many in the former group that after giving it further thought they’ve stopped sending knee-jerk thank yous. They admit they’re saving time, no one’s feelings are hurt, and that the thank yous they do send are more weighted with meaning. So go ahead, send thank you e-mails when a thank you is really called for. But hold yourself back from writing thank you e-mails every time someone sends you an e-mail. They’ll thank you for it. And I thank you for reading this post. Seriously. Thanks.

Comments

[Cindy Dashnaw]

When I worked as a full-time staff member, I was rabidly opposed to thank-you e-mails. Now that I'm a freelance writer who depends on clients for a living, I have found myself sending those e-mails I used to despise. Do you see any distinction for freelancers and consultants who work at the whim of the client?

[Lisa Braithwaite]

I expect a "thank you" or some acknowledgement of an e-mail from someone I'm contacting for the first time; for example, to follow up on a conversation, send them something I promised to send them, etc. If I'm not in regular communication with the person, I can't even be sure my e-mail got through. In that case, if I don't get a response, I find it annoying. Otherwise, it's not a big deal.

[Dan Santow]

Cindy, I didn’t mean to suggest thank yous were never a good idea; often they are – my point is solely that knee-jerk thank yous are a waste of time and energy, not only for the sender but more so for the receiver. Use your judgment – that’s all I’m asking – and don’t always send a thank you e-mail as a rule. If you’re in business, like you are, of course you want to send thank yous, not only to, well, thank someone, but to stay on their radar screen.

Lisa, I agree with you 100 percent.

[patricia]

And there's usually no reason to reply-to-all for emails that are nothing more than thanks.

[Beth]

I find I use the "Thank you in advance" line when I want to nicely let the recipient know that this is a question/task that can't be ignored; I'm expecting action on the content of the email. It's a little strange when you think about it, but it seems to work. I started using it with someone who would ignore messages and found that I got better result when I thanked them in advance. As always, YMMV.

[KT]

I work remotely as a freelance graphic designer, and I sometimes wish there was some easy way to confirm I received a message or document (or to make sure someone received something I sent) without the full send-an-email process. But email (or phone) is my only contact with clients anyway, so I guess it all works out.

[Nick Wagner]

Hi Dan. I also work remotely. I'm a full-time employee and not working at the whim of clients. Still, I don't have the day-to-day interaction that builds community among office workers. Also, many of the support staff in my company are not used to remote workers. (I think I'm the second one in the history of the company.) So I err on the side of excessive thank yous as a way to let folks know I'm actually working and that I appreciate their efforts. I do agree that if I were in-house I would be less reflexive in sending e-mail thanks. But on the other hand, I'd probably be doing a lot more ftf thanking.

Nick Wagner
TeamRCIA.com