Word Wise

The Grinch Who Stole Clichés

I was in Montreal the week before last and in the old section of the city is one of those all-year Christmas shops, which reminded me of George Bernard Shaw noting that "a perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell." (He said it, not me.) It's also true that in our business the holiday season can seem really, really long, since planning for it can start in February and a lot of the execution is happening right around now. So do everyone a favor (think of it as a gift) and resist trying to set the mood in letters, releases, headlines and other documents with clichés such as ‘tis the season, deck the walls, malls, etc., have yourself a merry little, all the trimmings, ring in the new, you’d better watch out, it’s beginning to look a lot like, and any other phrase that comes from popular songs, poems, movies, or stories. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't try to cleverly holiday up your prose when called on to do so by a client or campaign plan, but devote the time necessary to creating something original, funny or provocative. That's what will break through the clutter of clichés  clogging everyone's inbox. If you think silently to yourself that whatever you've written is good enough, that's a clue that it's not (a good piece of advice during the non-holiday part of the year, as well). Let me end by being the first (I hope) to wish you a happy holiday - well, most of you, anyhow. Or, to paraphrase Ogden Nash, "Happy Holidays - Nearly Everyone!" Now, he was clever.

Proofreadapalooza

As the humorist Dave Barry once wrote, “proofread carefully to see if you any words out." That said, there’s nothing funny about silly mistakes in an otherwise smart document. Misspelled or omitted words, inconsistent formatting, grammatical mistakes, inaccurate facts, and incorrect usage are easily avoided by careful proofreading. Since there’s no one method of proofreading that works for everyone, pick and choose from the following tips and create your own method – and then follow it each time you proof a document.   Proof but don’t read: When you read, you subconsciously fix the mistakes, as you probably did in the Barry quote above. There’s a fine line between reading and proofing – stay on the right side of it.   Keep the editing and proofreading processes separate. When you’re editing an early draft, you don't want to be bothered with thinking about punctuation, grammar, and spelling. If you’re worrying about the spelling of a word or the placement of a comma, you're not focusing on the more important development and connection of ideas that make a document clear and convincing.   Tidy up your desk – you’re your own worst interrupter when things catch your eye.   Check that contents page numbers and headings match with the actual copy in the document.   Check that abbreviations have been defined at first use.   Look to see that all your bulleted or numbered lists are formatted similarly.   Ensure that dates and days of the week match – if copy says Tuesday, Nov 7, make sure Nov. 7 is a Tuesday.   Chew gum! Emerging science suggests it helps you focus on the task at hand.   Divide your task into several parts, completing one before starting the next. Check for errors in the spelling of names and places. Check the accuracy of phone numbers, dates, addresses, times, and amounts of money. Check for errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Check for transposed characters, omitted letters, words, and word division.    To check formatting, “scan the edges" of the document and look for anything that doesn't look right. Then look at the overall page: Does it look balanced? For example, is the text consistently justified or consistently left aligned? Make sure there's only one space after a period. Check page numbers and footnotes.   Always proof from a hard copy. Don't try to proof a document from your computer screen; you'll miss many errors this way.   To proof for spelling, read the document backwards. When each individual word is looked at, outside the context of a sentence, you’re less likely to miss spelling errors. (However, reading backwards will not allow you to spot homophone errors – words that sound alike but are spelled differently: to/too/two, are/our, their/there/they're, and so on.)     After corrections have been made, don't forget to proof the revised document. First check to see that all the corrections were made, then read over the document one more time to make sure you didn't miss something the first time around!   Know your own typical mistakes. Make a list of the errors you make repeatedly. Proofread for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most frequent problem, go through the paper checking just that one problem. Then proofread again for the next most frequent problem.   Allow yourself time between writing a document and proofreading so you can return to it with a fresh mind and eye.   Use the search function of the computer to find mistakes you're likely to make. Search for "it," for instance, if you confuse "its" and "it's."   Circle or highlight every punctuation mark. This forces you to look at each one.   Avoid interruptions – proofread in a conference room, forward your phone to voice mail.   Use a colored pen so your corrections stand out.   Proof any text in all caps separately and more painstakingly. Typos and misspellings are much more difficult to see in all caps.   Double check: fonts that are unusual (italic, bold, or otherwise different) proper names little words: "or," "of," "it," and "is" are often interchanged every number – dollar amounts, dates, page references, percentages, etc. Ignorance may be bliss, but it won't make you a better proofreader. You'll often find things that don't seem quite right to you, but you're not quite sure what's wrong either. A word looks like it might be misspelled, but the spell checker didn't catch it. You think you need a comma between two words, but you're not sure why. Should you use "that" instead of "which"? If you're not sure about something, look it up (like, duh, I know, but lots of people seem ashamed to have to look up things). Have the right references nearby: a dictionary, AP Stylebook, and a “favorites” file online filled with references you like, such as the Merriam-Webster dictionary at http://www.m-w.com.   Finally, and I know this may be asking too much, but have fun, reward yourself, and if in the end a mistake creeps through, just remember that while it's a total drag, life goes on.

I've Got To Be Me

Few grammatical mistakes leave a poor impression as much as mixing up “I” and “me.” More than confusing “who” and “whom,” “effect” and “affect,” or “home” and “hone” – all of which can be forgiven by most people – referring to yourself as “me” when you mean “I” and vice versa signals to readers (and listeners) a misunderstanding of one of the cardinal rules of grammar.     One way to think about it is this: I am the subject of the sentence, but the object of the sentence is me.   If that gives you shivers-up-your-spine memories of third grade English where your teacher Miss Fox (okay, my teacher Miss Fox at Cleveland Elementary School – but everyone has their own Miss Fox) drilled into your head the difference between subjects and objects and all those other terms only to have them drilled right out of your head two minutes later by ennui (okay, as a third grader I suffered from ennui, sue me), then you might not want to rely on this particular rule.   The best, easiest, and least onerous method of knowing which word to use when is to drop out the other person altogether. Kate and I/me went to our cha cha lesson last night. Is it “Kate and me” went or “Kate and I” went? Drop out Kate and what have you got left? I went to our cha cha lesson last night – so it follows that if Kate joined me, “Kate and I” went (“me went” would be very David Sedarisian, but wrong nonetheless). Kate invited my boyfriend and I/me to brunch. Again, drop out the other person (buh-bye, boyfriend) and who did Kate invite to brunch? She invited “me,” so “Kate invited my BF and me to brunch.” On a related note, many of us fall back on referring to ourselves as “myself” (as in “Boris, Morris, and myself like deviled eggs”) because we don’t know whether it’s “Boris, Morris, and I” or “Boris, Morris, and me.” And just when we’re forced to make the decision, in the nanosecond that follows the word “and,” we freak out (inside) and default to "myself." Wrong.   “Myself” shouldn’t take the place of “I” and “me” – it should only be used to refer to the subject: “After cha cha-ing with twinkle-toes Kate, I consider myself lucky to be alive!,” in which “myself” refers back to “I,” or for emphasis, as in “I made the 600 calls myself!”

Splitskrieg

The idea of a “split infinitive” dates back to when intellectuals took Latin grammar rules and applied them to English. But Latin verbs are made of one word, and English verbs are made of two. So Caesar couldn't split infinitives, but Shakespeare could. To split or not to split, that is the question.   But should you do it?   Yes, if it sounds right. Besides, as many others have noted, where would we be without the phrase, “To boldly go where no man has gone before”?