I've Got To Be Me

Few grammatical mistakes leave a poor impression as much as mixing up “I” and “me.” More than confusing “who” and “whom,” “effect” and “affect,” or “home” and “hone” – all of which can be forgiven by most people – referring to yourself as “me” when you mean “I” and vice versa signals to readers (and listeners) a misunderstanding of one of the cardinal rules of grammar.     One way to think about it is this: I am the subject of the sentence, but the object of the sentence is me.   If that gives you shivers-up-your-spine memories of third grade English where your teacher Miss Fox (okay, my teacher Miss Fox at Cleveland Elementary School – but everyone has their own Miss Fox) drilled into your head the difference between subjects and objects and all those other terms only to have them drilled right out of your head two minutes later by ennui (okay, as a third grader I suffered from ennui, sue me), then you might not want to rely on this particular rule.   The best, easiest, and least onerous method of knowing which word to use when is to drop out the other person altogether. Kate and I/me went to our cha cha lesson last night. Is it “Kate and me” went or “Kate and I” went? Drop out Kate and what have you got left? I went to our cha cha lesson last night – so it follows that if Kate joined me, “Kate and I” went (“me went” would be very David Sedarisian, but wrong nonetheless). Kate invited my boyfriend and I/me to brunch. Again, drop out the other person (buh-bye, boyfriend) and who did Kate invite to brunch? She invited “me,” so “Kate invited my BF and me to brunch.” On a related note, many of us fall back on referring to ourselves as “myself” (as in “Boris, Morris, and myself like deviled eggs”) because we don’t know whether it’s “Boris, Morris, and I” or “Boris, Morris, and me.” And just when we’re forced to make the decision, in the nanosecond that follows the word “and,” we freak out (inside) and default to "myself." Wrong.   “Myself” shouldn’t take the place of “I” and “me” – it should only be used to refer to the subject: “After cha cha-ing with twinkle-toes Kate, I consider myself lucky to be alive!,” in which “myself” refers back to “I,” or for emphasis, as in “I made the 600 calls myself!”